


A million situations

by Lieutenant_Romanoff



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: AUs, Alternate Universe - College/University, College AU, F/M, Fiori - Freeform, Getting some fiori love, M/M, More tags and characters to be added, bagginshield, kiliel - Freeform, otp prompts, totally unseasonal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-08 01:32:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4285593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lieutenant_Romanoff/pseuds/Lieutenant_Romanoff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles and one shots related to the hobbit. Mainly fiori but with other ships on the side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Unusual Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this prompt from angiespeggy on tumblr:  
> “i was playing beer pong with a coin and i accidentally threw it right into your eye at a party” au

In hindsight it was obviously going to happen. Fili was already way too drunk to have any degree of hand-eye coordination and the party was far too packed for everyone to leave unscathed. But when Kili sauntered over with a full cup of beer and an American quarter in his hand with the proposition of a friendly game of beer pong, Fili had little choice.

“Jus’ one little game bro.” Kili slurred, waving the coin in his brothers face.

“Kili I don’t think I should...” He attempted to argue back which made Kili draw the coin back and raise his eyebrows comically high.

“Oh. So you don’t think you can beat me huh?” Before he had time to correct his brother, Kili raised his voice so everyone in the room could hear, “Hey guys! My brother here isn’t tough enough to take me on in a simple lil’ game of beer pong!”

With the comment, everyone in the room turned to look at them and many began to aim boos at Fili. Someone at the back of the room, and Fili was sure it was Tauriel trying to cause trouble, began a chant of ‘we want beer pong’. When people began thumping their drinks on the surfaces Fili gave in, giving Kili a mildly frustrated look and stumbling towards the nearest table. 

So that’s how they ended up flipping coins over and over again in an attempt to get them anywhere near the single cup on the table. It was blatantly clear that the pair were incredibly drunk and it really showed in their ability, or therefore lack of, to even flip the coin. Someone was without a doubt going to be injured. So really they shouldn’t have been surprised when Fili somehow flicked the coin well over the cup and into the eye of some poor soul standing in the corner.

"Ah shit"

***

Ori wasn’t the kind of guy who usually went to big parties. He’d much rather be curled up in his room, reading a new book or doing some sketches. But somehow he was here; in the middle of a bustling party, feeling absolutely lost and unsure of himself. There were far too many people in close proximity, hot and sweaty bodies everywhere; it was enough to make him want to be sick.

He wasn’t even entirely sure why he was here. He just remembered laying in his bed whilst his roommate Gimli ranted on and on about some kid’s party that night. Gimli was a nice enough guy but he constantly tried to drag Ori everywhere with him, forcing him to socialise. On this particular occasion, Gimli was insisting on taking Ori to keep him company.

“Can’t you just take Legolas with you? I’m sure he’d love to go.” Ori muttered, nose still firmly wedged in his newest book.

“He can’t go. He’s visiting his parents.” Gimli answered back. Ah, that explained his persistence. Usually Ori could get away with not going out merely by mentioning Gimli’s boyfriend as the two did literally everything together. Sadly, when Legolas was gone, Ori was the only one around and so he had to be Gimli’s party companion. 

Ori argued with Gimli for the remainder of the evening but Gimli was having none of it. Eventually Ori gave in, realising there was no way for him to escape this party. He tried to convince himself that it wasn’t too bad by reminding himself that it was only one party and that he could just hide in a corner for the whole evening. Gimli might insist on company for parties to ‘stop him being lonely’ but the second he arrived he found the largest group of people in the house and abandoned his companion. Sure enough, when they arrived at the house with the music blaring out of every window, Gimliquickly made a beeline for the front room where Ori could see a huge group of people dancing. Ori sighed and resigned himself to an evening spent in the corner of the kitchen people watching and doing little else. 

To be fair, this party wasn’t too bad. Yes there were far too many people way too close to him but he just continuously shuffled away so that his personal bubble would remain intact. The music in the kitchen was considerably quieter than the rest of the house which allowed him to actually be able to concentrate on his own thoughts. The people around also weren’t too bad, none of those in the kitchen were too noisy and boisterous and there were even a few friendly faces who gave him a quick wave. People watching proved useful too; there were plenty of interesting, colourful characters in the crowd and Ori made a mental note of some of their most intriguing features for his sketches and writing later.

He was just beginning to, dare he say it, enjoy himself when to his absolute luck something hard went flying straight into his eye causing him to reel back in shock and clench his eye in pain.

“Ah shit I’m sorry!” A voice said close to Ori

“It-It’s fine honestly.” Ori insisted, eyes still clenched shut.

“No shit seriously I didn’t mean to. Damn it I knew I was too drunk. God damn it Kili why did you get me to play? Oh no are you blind? What if you’re blind?” The voice continued to ramble.

“No honestly I swear I’m alright.”

“I’m taking you outside, maybe the air will help?”

Ori knew that the air was highly unlikely to actually help in anyway but the voice seemed desperate to help so he allowed himself to be led outside. The voice continued to murmur nonsense to him and kept apologising every two sentences.

Eventually, Ori felt able to open his eyes properly again and, although his vision was still blurry, he was at last able to see the person who was responsible for his injury. As soon as he saw who it was, part of him wished he still couldn’t see. Because trust Ori to be hit in the eye by one of the single most gorgeous human beings ever. That was just about his luck. Nice to know that this golden god had seen him with his eyes clenched shut and with tears pouring down his face. What a great first impression.

“Oh thank god your eyes are open. You can see right?” The man said, relief clearly evident in his voice.

“Ye-yeah I can see just fine.”

“Oh that’s such a relief. Listen I’m so sorry for hitting you, I was just too drunk I’m really sorry-“

“It’s fine honestly. No lasting damge.” Ori managed to smile at the man in front of him and was rewarded with a blinding grin. His smile was probably one of the most beautiful things Ori had seen and he couldn’t help but allow his own smile to widen.

“Look I still feel really bad for what happened. Is there anything I can do to help you out? To apologise I mean.” Fili offered and Ori couldn’t help the internal voice that was screaming at him to ask for a date, a kiss, anything! Of course, he didn’t say any of those things; after all he did have some degree of self control and he didn’t want to jump on this guy. Besides, wasn’t it enough to have been injured in one night, he didn’t want to be rejected as well. So instead he just shook his head at him.

“You sure about that? Surely I could, I don’t know, treat you to a drink sometime?” The stranger said shyly, shrugging his shoulders and turning his body to and fro in what was either anxiety or drunkenness. Ori couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. Was this absolute divine human being offering him a drink? The two of them?

“A- a drink?”

“Yeah of course I mean if you wanted to that is. If you don’t that’s cool but I mean you’re cute and I might be a little bit drunk right now but, fuck it hey?” The guy mumbled and Ori couldn’t stop the blush spreading up his whole face. Cute. He’d just called him cute. All self control was gone, that was the last shred of power he held over what words came out of his mouth. 

“Well I mean I don’t even know your name...” Ori said teasingly and the golden haired boy laughed.

“Fili. It’s Fili.” 

“I’m Ori. It's nice to meet you."

"Well then Ori, I guess I'll give you my number..." Fili trailed off, reaching in his pockets and then looking up in panic.

"Looking for this?" A voice said at the doorway to the house. Stood there was a tall and immensely pretty redhead, hands on her hips, a phone held in her outstretched hand. 

"Tauriel seriously? The fuck?!" Fili groaned at her.

"Oh come on it's so easy to pickpocket you when you're drunk. But you know what? I'm going to give this back to you. But only because it seems you have a good use for it right now" The tall girl, Tauriel, said, walking forwards and placing the phone in Fili's hand with a wink. She turned to grin at Ori before flouncing back into the house to rejoin the party. Fili cleared his throat.

"Well erm if I give you my number you can call me I guess?"

"Of course I will." Ori replied with a sweet smile that made Fili's eyes light up with joy.

***

The two met up for coffee that week. And the next. Then coffee became dinner and dinner became late nights in each others dorms. Ori kept a small bruise on his face for a few months following the coin incident but he didn't mind, especially not when Fili would gently stroke it as they laid together at night. It served as a reminder of how the two had met and in all honesty, it was just one of the little imperfections that Fili loved so much about Ori.


	2. Quiet in the library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from angiespeggy on tumblr:  
> “i am in the library trying to study for this final i know im going to fail and you are eating crisps so goddamn loudly what the hell man” au

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note just to let you readers know that I'm actually on the aromantic spectrum so I'm not always the best with describing romantic things. So any feedback on that side of things is really appreciated <3

Fili was so fucked. His History exam was tomorrow morning and here he was at 8pm in the library with absolutely no clue at all what he was reading about. There was no way in all hell he was going to pass this test. He dropped his head into his hands and groaned. Trust him to not bother revising until last minute and then inevitably fail and get kicked out of History class forever. Why oh why did he leave this until now? It especially didn’t help that as he buried his head in a text book some complete ass somewhere a few rows away was eating a bag of crisps in the loudest possible way. To make matters worse, it seemed like a culprit was in possession of the largest bag of crisps in the whole of history. Every few minutes the crunching would stop and Fili would lift his head up slightly, thinking that perhaps the torture was over. Then, mere seconds later another crunch would resound through the library and Fili would let out a sigh whilst quietly chanting “murder is wrong murder is wrong” in his head to prevent himself losing his mind.

After approximately half an hour of ongoing crunching, Fili lost it. He’d been re-reading the same pages over and over again and none of it was going in and all he could focus on was that annoying crunching. He let out a deep breath and stormed over to the source of the noise. As he walked past the final bookshelf he began to speak.

“I swear to god if you don’t shut up I’m going to lose my mind. Stop eating those crisps!” He hissed. A shy man with brown hair and horn rimmed glasses lifted up his head and turned bright red. Fili noticed the extra large bag of Doritos that were perched on the edge of the desk.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise I was being so loud.” The man whispered shyly, hunching in on himself and Fili instantly felt bad. 

“It’s fine it was just beginning to distract me that’s all.” He said in an attempt to make the poor guy feel a little better. He didn’t mean to sound so angry and this guy seemed far too nervous to take any more yelling. 

“Were you trying to do something important then?” The man asked uncertainly, eyes peeking out from underneath his fringe to meet Fili’s own.

“Yeah it’s my History final tomorrow and I am absolutely going to fuck it up.” 

“Oh you mean the one for Mrs Galadriel’s class on the history of the US?” The man asked quizzically, finally raising his head completely to look at Fili straight on.

“Yeah it is that one. Wait are you in my class or something?” Fili immediately felt a sense of guilt. Had this guy been in his class for the whole semester without Fili even noticing? He always knew he was unobservant but he thought at least he could recognise the face of someone who was in his lectures every single week. 

“Mmhmm. Don’t worry, you probably haven’t noticed me. I tend to sit at the back and keep quiet.” The man admitted, smiling shyly. Fili let out a weak smile and reached his hand out to the man in front of him.

“I’m Fili by the way.”

“Ori.” The man replied, shaking Fili’s hand enthusiastically.

“So, Ori. Do you actually understand any of this crap?” Fili gesticulated at the textbook in front of Ori and to his utter relief Ori nodded. “That is music to my ears buddy. Do you mind if we study together because seriously I do not get it.”

“Well if I can help, sure thing.” Ori said with a sweet smile aimed at Fili. Fili grinned in return and pulled up a seat next to the guy who would hopefully be his history saviour.  
The two spent the next few hours working through their assigned textbook with Ori constantly explaining terms and events from the book to Fili who, after Ori had explained it in about five different ways, finally understood most of the content. Eventually the librarian walked over to let the two know that although she’d kept the library open late to allow students to study for exams, it was now time to close. The pair packed up their books and equipment and parted ways at the library entrance, both wishing the other luck in the next day’s exam.

***

As soon as the group walked out of the exam Fili made a beeline for Ori. He slung an arm over his shoulder with a massive grin on his face.  
“I can’t thank you enough dude, you totally saved me.”

“I take it you think it went well?” Ori replied with a smile.

“Everything you taught me came up. I would’ve failed if it weren’t for you!”

“You could’ve done it by yourself.” 

“No way, I couldn’t have done it without you.” With that, Fili pulled Ori into a tight hug and although not in any way expecting such a response, Ori cautiously hugged back. The hug was surprisingly cosy and Fili couldn’t help but feel as though he should make hugging Ori a regular thing. He reluctantly pulled away after a few moments.

“So you know we have Gandalf’s test next week...” Fili began and Ori let out a short, sharp laugh.

“Of course I’ll help you out.” 

“You’re the best ever, Ori” Fili gave Ori another pleasant squeeze and the smaller man couldn’t help but shake his head. Somehow he felt like tutoring Fili might become a regular thing.

***

It did become a regular thing. No matter what, Fili always seemed to find some excuse to need Ori’s help with something. After Gandalf’s exam it was his coursework and then there was another test that wasn’t actually for another month and after that he made up some excuse about his uncle believing Fili knew everything about ancient Egypt so of course Ori needed to teach him. Eventually Ori decided to confront him about it.

“Fili, seriously. Why do you keep having tests and things that you need my help with? You know all this stuff.” He said one day when he was tutoring Fili on Scottish history (something he knew Fili was an expert on). Fili shifted uncomfortably and sighed.

“I guess I just like spending time with you?” Fili said slowly, shifting his gaze to the wall rather than looking Ori in the eye. Ori couldn’t help but shake his head at Fili’s idiocy. He was so bad with feelings, no wonder he’d been using such crappy excuses.

“Fili you moron. You don’t need to make excuses to hang out with me.” Fili couldn’t help himself. He reached over and yanked Ori into a huge hug. He’d been hugging Ori a lot lately, he just couldn’t help himself. Ori was just so nice to hug. He wasn’t as muscular as Kili making him comfier to snuggle into and his hair smelt like flowers. All in all his hugs were addictive but Fili was content to keep on with his addiction. Hugging Ori was a comfort, a way to make him feel better. It was calming like a mug of hot chocolate on a winter evening. It was a relief. 

“God you’re such a dummy. A big cute dummy.” Ori muttered softly into his shoulder and Fili froze, his eyes widening in reaction to what he’d just heard. Cute? Cute? Did Ori just call him CUTE? He pulled away from Ori to find his face as flushed as the day they’d met. Somehow the pink cheeks served to only make his friend all the more sweet and before he could even think properly he’d pressed his lips to Ori’s for a brief, chaste kiss. He pulled back to find Ori opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

“Ah shit” Fili murmured. He’d totally fucked it up. He thought Ori calling him cute had meant he liked him. Ori was just so nice maybe he’d meant it in a friendly way. Fili had just messed it all up. Brilliant. Months of hanging out and trying to get closer to the guy had all been ruined because of his own stupidity. 

His thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of Ori’s lips and his arms wrapped around him. Immediately he pulled Ori closer, grinning into the kiss. Hugging Ori might have been a comfort and a relief but kissing Ori felt like coming home. It made everything feel right.


	3. Starlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from agentmeowshington on tumblr:  
> “i go on late night walks around campus and apparently you do too”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to do another Fiori prompt but I read this prompt and it was just so perfect for Kiliel I couldn't help myself ^_^  
> Feedback is always appreciated!

Some nights Kili just needed to be outside. Sometimes it just felt like the walls were closing in on him and he just needed to feel cold air around him. Sometimes the cracked ceiling above him felt far too close and he needed to just look up and see endless miles of darkness and stars. That’s why it became a regular thing for him. Every couple of days he’d say goodnight to Fili and Ori who were likely to be curled up on the sofa watching some crappy movie that neither of them really cared about and he’d make his way out of their dorm. At first the couple questioned his late night exits but after a while they grew accepting of it, realising that sometimes Kili just needed his space. So now he could leave without anyone commenting on his actions.

There was something about the way the pathway around campus was lightly illuminated by the lamps that calmed Kili and made him forget the stress in his life. There was no denying that university was stressful as all hell but they all had things that comforted them. For Fili it was cuddling up to Ori and for Kili it was being outside in the fresh air with just subtle lighting from the cheap lamps and the stars above. He couldn’t explain it, there was just something so soothing about the silence and darkness of the campus. 

Kili made his way around the few buildings, treasuring the light sound of his footsteps on the brick path being the only sound. He sighed deeply, staring at the softly lit trees surrounding him as their leaves rustled in the slight breeze. It was so peaceful out here and the stark contrast between these paths bustling throughout the day and being abandoned at this time of night. He smiled contently and began his way back to his dorm. He’d been walking around for about an hour now and the cold air had begun to get under his clothes, starting to chill him.

Just as he was about to head back into his apartment building, he was disturbed by the sight of someone else walking around the campus. At first Kili thought they must have just been coming home late from a night out but they seemed to peaceful to be drunk and they didn’t seem to be walking with any real purpose and they certainly weren’t headed towards one of the buildings. The figure was rather tall and as they walked under the beam of one of the lamps Kili noticed their long red hair and undeniably female figure. Kili dismissed any thoughts about the woman and continued back into the building.

***  
The following night, Kili found himself outside on a walk yet again. It was unlike him to go for late night walks two nights in a row but he put it down to the fact that Ori was spending ridiculous amounts of time in his dorm with Fili and it was driving him insane. It was of course nothing to do with the mysterious woman he’d seen last night and wanting to find out if she was a late night wanderer like him. Nothing to do with that at all. 

However, he wandered around the campus for over two hours and, although he succeeded in finding peace and escaping the gross cuteness of his brother and his boyfriend, he failed to locate the redhead he’d seen last night. Okay so maybe he was a little curious as to what brought the woman out at this time of night but eventually he resigned himself to not finding her. Besides, she probably wouldn’t want to be disturbed anyway. Kili turned on his foot and made his way slowly back to his dormitory, hoping that everyone would be in bed at this point.

Just as he was about to walk into the building, he heard a door creak a few buildings across. He raised his head instinctively towards the noise to find the red-headed girl from last night walking out of the Mirkwood building. Before he could even think, he dived into his building and shut the door a little louder than necessary and ran up to his floor. After dashing into his room he collapsed on his bed and groaned.

“What the hell was that about?” Kili muttered to himself, smacking his head on one of his pillows. He could have just spoken to her; she was the only person Kili had ever seen out at that time who wasn’t utterly wasted. All he’d had to do was say something! Why on earth had he slammed the door? Kili put it down to tiredness and groggily got undressed before curling up under his covers.

***  
Kili hadn’t seen the woman in a couple of nights now. He’d kept an eye open for her every night he’d gone on a walk but there had been no sign of her. It had just gone back to being him and the silence. Not that he didn’t enjoy it, but Kili wasn’t often alone and he generally preferred the company of others. Deep down he’d been hoping that the redhead could join him on his late night peaceful walks. 

Thursday night Kili once again found himself outside in the dead of night. His exams were next week and he needed the stress relief of midnight walks to calm himself. He did a couple of laps around Erebor building before taking a slow stroll towards Mirkwood. As he rounded the corner he froze at the sight of a figure sat on a bench, head in their hands, eyes fixed on the stars above. In the darkness it was difficult at first to identify any features of the individual but as his eyes adapted to the shadows he realised it was the red headed woman he had been trying to find. 

Kili quickly weighed up the options in his head. The way he saw it there were 2 choices. He could approach the girl and finally stop searching for her and wondering about her motives for spending her late nights out in the abandoned campus. On the other hand he could just walk away. Just not disturb her, leave her in peace and back away. Kili was hardly a shy person but in this situation he decided it was best to not disturb her. Not because he was nervous or anything not at all, he just felt the girl wanted to be left alone. Yeah that was it. He didn’t want to just disturb her when she looked so peaceful staring up at the sky. Kili made an attempt to back up, to leave her in peace.

“Are you just going to stand creepily behind me all night?” A voice chimed in front of him. Kili winced.

“Errr you know I’m here?” Kili asked nervously. The girl turned around to smile at him and he couldn’t help but feel blown away by how stunning she was up close. She had bright hazel eyes that seemed to reflect the stars above her and her red hair tumbled in waves down her back. Kili blinked at her in shock.

“You’re not as quiet as you think.”

“Huh, I guess that makes sense. My mum always said I was heavy footed...” Kili mumbled and the girl squinted at him.

“Wait are you the guy from the other night? The one who ran into Erebor building as soon as I walked out?” She questioned and Kili couldn’t help the slight blush that crept onto his cheeks.

“Oh so you saw that?” He asked her, clearly embarrassed.

“You were hardly discrete about it.” 

“It wasn’t to do with you I just panicked. I’m not used to seeing people out here this late at night.” He admitted to her.

“No I guess that’s true. I’m Tauriel by the way.” Tauriel. The name suited her somehow. It was unusual and unique and it struck Kili as rather beautiful.

“I’m Kili.” He said and the urge struck him to hold out his hand for her to shake. Thankfully he managed to stop himself after thinking that perhaps that was a little too dorky. No-one did that at university for crying out loud. He at least had to pretend to be kind of cool.

“Do you want to sit down?” Tauriel invited, motioning to the space beside her on the bench. Kili was slightly surprised at her invitation but he nodded nonetheless and took a seat next to her. They spent a couple of moments in silence, the pair content in the comfortable silence permeated only by the occasional rustle of leaves. Eventually he spoke up, deciding to ask the question that had been bothering him since he first saw her outside the dorms at such a late time.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why do you spend your nights out here?” He asked quizzically, turning his head slightly to look up at her.

“It’s just peaceful, isn’t it. The way the only sound is the wind and your own footsteps on the ground. But the main reason is the sky. I love the midnight sky. There’s something truly beautiful about walking in starlight and watching your shadow dance in the light of billions of stars...” She drifted off, her gaze still fixed on the sky. 

Kili said nothing and yet silently agreed with what she’d told him. Staring at Tauriel’s pale skin as it was illuminated by starlight was truly beautiful and he couldn’t help but beam at her. He had a feeling the two would be spending more time together with the light of a million stars smiling down on them.


	4. Trick or Treat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this prompt from mitsouparker:  
> "I accompany my little cousin on halloween to go trick-or-treating but you won’t open the door although I know you’re at home and stinkin’ rich so I plot a revenge plan with all the kids from the neighbourhood AU"
> 
> Totally not the time for Halloween drabbles but I couldn't help myself!

Frodo Baggins loved Halloween. He loved it a little bit too much in Bilbo’s honest opinion. Surely it wasn’t normal for the boy to pick out a Halloween costume in January? No kid was that excited about any holiday, right? But somehow young Frodo was ecstatic about Halloween every single year. And somehow, through bad luck, although Bilbo was beginning to suspect it may actually be good planning, Frodo always ended up visiting Bilbo exactly around the end of October. So naturally it fell to him to take the boy out for Halloween trick or treating with his friends; Merry, Pippin, Sam and Rosie. Bilbo didn’t exactly hate Halloween but he got the feeling he wasn’t exactly the intended audience for the holiday; he wasn’t the biggest fan of candy and he didn’t look anywhere near as good as little Merry did in his Batman costume.  Nevertheless, every year he put on some half-hearted costume and took the five children around the local neighbourhood, smiling at his neighbours and constantly stopping Merry and Pippin from taking more than their fair share of sweets.

This year, Bilbo had donned a small pair of cat ears and led his small procession of kids into the streets. Merry and Pippin were in their usual matching superhero outfits; this year they were Batman and Robin; Sam was an adorable little pirate; Rosie was wearing a rather convincing replica of Rapunzel’s dress, and her parents had even braided her hair with flowers; and little Frodo was Edward Scissorhands. A little dark in Bilbo’s opinion but the boy had been so excited about the idea and he had spent weeks working on the little details to make it perfect.

“Trick or Treat!” The children chorused at what felt like the hundredth house that evening. Their pumpkin shaped buckets were almost full of candy by this point but they all seemed determined to get even more and Bilbo was unable to resist when they turned those big puppy eyes on him and begged to be able to stay out just a little longer.

“Oh aren’t you just a couple of little angels!” The lady at the door crooned, positively beaming at Merry and Pippin’s bright, smiling faces. Oh if only she knew the truth. Bilbo smirked to himself, those two were anything but angels.

“Are they all yours?” Bilbo looked up at the woman, startled.

“Oh, oh gosh no! The little one there, yes the Edward Scissorhands one, he’s my cousin.” Bilbo explained. For some reason, every single year people seemed to think they were all his children. He always cringed at the thought. Frodo was a sweet boy but he could still only handle him in small doses. He was a teacher already, the last thing he needed when he came home was to have to look after even more children. Perhaps he could handle Frodo or Sam or Rosie but there was no way he could deal with the troublesome Merry and Pippin day in day out.

The small group thanked the lady as they left her home with significantly more candy in their buckets. They all looked very pleased with themselves and so Bilbo suggested that they all head home.

“Okay Bilbo, but can we please go to one more house?” Frodo pleaded, turning his big blue eyes up to Bilbo.

“Of course. Just one more house.” Bilbo gave in.

“We’ll have to make it a good one then!” Merry piped up, hopping up and down excitedly. Honestly, did that boy never run out of energy?

“Yeah it’ll have to be the best, most expensive one. Filled with lots and lots of sweets!” Pippin joined in, looking excitedly at his friends.

“Which house would you say is best, Mr Bilbo?” A smaller voice asked. Bilbo turned to see Sam smiling shyly at him, his hand interlocked in Rosie’s. Bilbo smiled mischievously at him.

“Well there is one house. The owner of it is very rich indeed.” He said mysteriously, much to the children’s excitement.

“Oh show us! Show us!” They all chorused excitedly, grinning up at him. He always had a weakness for these kids and he couldn’t help but rile them up sometimes. They were just so adorable when they were excited about something.

Bilbo led them all a couple of roads up to a grand mansion on the corner of a street. The children all gaped at it and Bilbo couldn’t help but grin. The house belonged to a certain Thorin Oakenshield. He was the CEO of the major incorporation, Durin and Sons and as a result was rumoured to be very, very well off. Thorin’s nephews went to Bilbo’s school and so he had seen the man a couple of times and from the designer labels he clearly wore, the rumours about his wealth were true. So obviously there was no excuse for the man to not give an entire truck full of candy out on Halloween.

As they approached the door, Bilbo couldn’t help but smile. The kids were going to freak out when they saw how much candy they could get from just one house alone. Merry stretched up and rang the doorbell. The echoing ring sounded loud and clear and the group of them waited patiently, with smiles on their faces. But there was no answer. Bilbo scowled and leaned around. Yep, the lights were definitely on.

“Try ringing again, Merry.” Bilbo suggested. He did as instructed and once again the loud ring sounded in the house. And once again there was no answer. Bilbo’s scowl deepened. There was clearly somebody home and yet nobody was bothering to answer the door. The children around him shuffled.

“Nobody’s answering, maybe we should just go.” Rosie said softly. Bilbo, getting frustrated now, rang the doorbell one more time. The noise sounded, and nobody came; exactly the same. He let out a sigh.

“Sorry kids, looks like someone doesn’t have any Halloween cheer.” He told them and they all turned on their heels and walked around from the house, looking a bit dejected. Frodo especially looked disappointed. Bilbo, rested his hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay, my boy. We’ll just go find another house. How does that sound?” He said reassuringly, looking down at his little cousin.

“Okay Bilbo. That house just looked like it would have the best candy…” Frodo trailed off. Bilbo felt a pang of guilt for getting the boy’s hopes up. Thankfully, Sam and Rosie approached and Frodo grabbed onto Rosie’s free hand with enthusiasm, running off to help Merry and Pippin decide on the best house to finish with. Bilbo felt a surge of anger. So this Thorin Oakenshield thought he was too good to give kids candy on Halloween did he? Well, Bilbo would show him!

***

It had been a week since Halloween and Bilbo had decided that tonight would be the night. Thorin’s nephews always complained that he was never home until late so Bilbo would have enough time to act just after school finished. He gathered up his stuff from his desk and threw it all into his satchel. As he left the school, he turned right rather than going left as usual. Once he was a couple of blocks away from Thorin’s home he dived into a small shop to pick up some eggs and toilet paper. Not stopping to think how immature this whole thing really was (seriously he was almost in his 30s he shouldn’t be doing things like this) he dropped the items onto the counter and paid for them. Just as he turned to leave the store he heard a familiar voice.

“Mr Boggins?”

Bilbo turned and saw the only person it could possibly be. Little Kili looked up at him in confusion, his brother Fili by his side.

“What are you doing here, Mr Boggins?” Kili asked, tilting his head to one side like an inquisitive dog.

“Oh you know, just buying some groceries.” Bilbo said, holding his full bags up.

“Why are you only buying eggs and toilet paper?” Fili asked

“Yeah don’t you need anything else?”

“And that’s a lot of eggs.”

“Why do you need that many eggs?”

“Are you making a lot of cakes, Mr Baggins?”

“That’s a lot of cake.”

“And why are you in this shop?”

“Yeah, Fili’s right. There’s shops closer to your house.”

“This isn’t anywhere near your home.”

“Yeah this is much closer to Uncle Thorin’s house.”

“Are you going to visit Uncle Thorin?”

“Ooh ooh you should go visit him!”

“You two, stop rambling!” Bilbo said, rubbing his hand on his face in frustration. Kili and Fili were sweet kids but they could talk for hours and hours. Fili looked up mischievously.

“Mr Baggins, with all those eggs and that toilet paper you could prank someone real good.”

Ah of course. The two Durin boys were rather mischievous themselves, always getting up to pranks and the like. For such young children they were able to get themselves into a lot of trouble through pranking their Uncle. Suddenly an idea struck Bilbo.

“Can you two keep a secret?” Bilbo whispered and with his words Kili and Fili’s eyes widened and they nodded enthusiastically. Bilbo leant down and the brothers shuffled closer.

“I’m planning to prank your Uncle.” Kili gasped at Bilbo’s words.

“You’re going to prank Uncle Thorin?” He repeated, shock clear in his face.

“Yes. He didn’t answer the door to us on Halloween so I’ve decided to get some revenge.” Fili looked confused and seemed about to say something but before any words could come out, Kili had slammed his hand over his brother’s mouth.

“Can we help?!” He all but yelled. Bilbo pretended to look thoughtful.

“Hmmm…”

“Oh please, Mr Boggins, please!” Kili begged, hopping up and down with excitement.

“Well alright then, I guess I could use the help.” Kili at last retracted his hand from Fili’s mouth and the pair jumped around with bright smiles on their faces. It seemed as though the pair was excited at any chance to prank their uncle.

The trio made their way down to the grand house that belonged to Thorin Oakenshield. Once they arrived, Bilbo checked the area, ensuring that nobody would catch them and rat them out to Thorin. Once he was sure that nobody was watching them, he unpacked the bag and passed the eggs to Fili and Kili. They grinned.

“Just go wild boys, do what needs to be done.” Bilbo said and with a small ‘whoop’ the pair ran off and began pelting the large windows with as many eggs as possible. Bilbo himself grabbed the toilet paper and without pause he launched it as high as he could manage, draping it up to the roof. He couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. This was just so ridiculous. He was being so very childish. But there was something refreshing about it.

“Mr Boggins, I can’t reach the top windows!” Kili said with a pout.

“Come here then, I’ll lift you so you can reach.” Bilbo said and Kili jumped into his arms. As Bilbo lifted him up, Kili reeled his arm back and threw the egg at the top window. It hit the centre with a satisfying crunch. The three of them whooped with joy.

“Oh oh oh! Lift me up too, I want to have a go!” Fili cheered. Bilbo smiled as he placed Kili back on the ground and lifted Fili up instead. Once in the air, Fili launched the egg in his hand and with a splat it hit the window right next to where Kili’s had landed. They all cheered once again and Fili leaned down to high five his brother.

“What on earth is going on?!” Shouted a voice. Bilbo froze and he heard Fili gulp. They all turned around and grimaced as they saw who stood there. With his hair tied back and bags of groceries in his hands, Thorin looked in total bewilderment at the three of them. Fili jumped down from Bilbo’s arms and stood sheepishly next to his brother.

“Oh gosh I’m so sorry. I don’t-I don’t know what to say…” Bilbo stuttered out, his face turning beetroot as he looked at Thorin’s surprised face.

“Well I mean you could explain why?” Thorin eventually got out after looking around at the scene for a long time.

“Why? Well, well yo-you wouldn’t open up on Halloween!” Thorin just stared at him. “We knocked on your door so many times and you didn’t answer. You just couldn’t be bothered to give sweets to kids! There was five of them, I disappointed five of them! I promised them lots of sweets!”

“Halloween. This Halloween?”

“Y-yes this Halloween!”

“I was out.” Bilbo stared.

“Bu-but your light was on!”

“It was? Well I can assure you, Mr Baggins, that it was merely a mistake of me leaving the light on. We were definitely out on Halloween this year.” Thorin explained and Bilbo couldn’t help but notice how calm he was given the situation.

“You were out. Oh right tha- wait we?”

“Yes, we. Me, Dis, Kili and Fili.”

Oh. Oh really. Bilbo turned to look at Kili and Fili who were currently looking at the grass like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“You mean you two knew?” Bilbo said accusingly, crossing his arms against his chest.

“Well I mean-”

“Yeah I guess we did-”

“We may have known-”

“But we didn’t say-”

Bilbo just let out a sigh. Of course those two rascals wouldn’t tell him. They just loved causing trouble and pranking their uncle and if they could combine the two and involve their teacher then who could blame them for not quite telling the truth.

“Boys you have behaved recklessly. You’ll have to clear this mess up by yourselves!” Thorin scolded the pair but Bilbo could tell there was no real malice in his voice. Considering the situation, the boys were getting off lightly with just a slap on the wrists and an order to clean up. Fili and Kili seemed to notice this too and although they skulked off to the house, Bilbo could see that they were still smiling to themselves. With their exit it left just Thorin and Bilbo. Bilbo suddenly felt his guilt creep up again.

“Look I’m really sorry about your house. I was just so angry about the Halloween thing, I thought you were being rude by not answering.” He said sheepishly, his feet shuffling slightly. To his surprise, Thorin just smiled.

“Oh that’s quite alright, Mr Baggins. I can understand your anger and I’m sure Kili and Fili had something to do with leading you astray.” Bilbo couldn’t help but sigh in relief. It seemed as though Thorin was more reasonable than he had thought.

“Is there nothing I can do to apologise?”

“No honestly, Mr Baggins, it is quite alright.” Thorin reassured him once more, his smile gentle and inviting. Bilbo realised after a moment that Thorin was just standing there with his groceries in his arms.

“Oh goodness, sorry. I’m keeping you out here with those heavy bags.” He apologised, “I better be off anyway, got to prepare for work tomorrow.”

“Until the next time, Mr Baggins.” Thorin said and with that he turned back to his egg covered house.

***

The next day, Bilbo walked into his classroom to find a surprisingly shamefaced looking Kili and Fili at the back of the room. He turned to look at them quizzically.

“Erm, so our Mum said-”

“We got yelled at so-”

“We should apologise to you-”

“We’re sorry for making you help us prank Uncle.” Bilbo shushed the pair quickly.

“No need to apologise boys, you know I was to blame as much as you were.” Kili and Fili nodded at Bilbo’s words and when they looked up to find Bilbo’s smiling face they grinned.

“It was a really good prank.” Kili giggled and Fili nodded enthusiastically. It seemed the two, despite the apparent telling off they got from their mother, were relatively unfazed by being blamed for the mischief.

“So you two don’t mind being blamed?” Bilbo double-checked with them.

“Nope!”

“Why would we? People think it was a great prank!”

“Yeah, our cousin Gimli thinks we’re even cooler now!”

Well that was a relief then. This way Bilbo could stay on Thorin’s good side and Fili and Kili remained the unchallenged prank gods. With one last smile at the brothers, Bilbo turned back to his desk. As he went to put his satchel down he froze, almost tripping over the pile of stuff beside his chair. It was a huge pile of candy and Bilbo couldn’t help but laugh. On top of the pile was a note. Bilbo picked it up and read it with a smile on his face.

_Mr Baggins,_

_I hope this more than makes up for Halloween. It should be enough to keep the hungry children happy at least until next Halloween. I also put something in there for you as I’m not sure the sweets are to your taste._

_Kind Regards_

_Thorin Oakenshield_

He looked back down at the pile and noticed a bouquet to the side, made up of periwinkles, daisies and red tulips. Something about them told Bilbo that this wouldn’t be the last he’d see of Thorin Oakenshield.

 


End file.
